Under The Weather

When you live by yourself, life gets tough when you fall ill. These are the days when you long for home, terribly miss Mom's encouraging words and home cooking. I have been feeling under the weather since Thursday, but I shrugged it off and went to work anyway. Now, I feel really tired and my world seems to be spinning. Today was spent lying down on my couch just coughing and sniffling. These are the days I turn to the comfort of watching movies I really enjoy. Sick days are movie marathon days. I dug into my DVD collection and so far, I've seen Rush Hour 1 and 2, Music and Lyrics, The Holiday, The Forbidden Kingdom, Big Momma's House, and now an old time favorite - While You Were Sleeping. Let me cough and sniffle, as I fill myself with a warm soup of Pork Sinigang and a cup of Chamomile tea.

Here's my favorite line from the movie, While You Were Sleeping, it gets me every time:

Do you believe in love at first sight? Nah, I betcha don't, you're probably too sensible for that. Or have you ever, like, seen somebody? And you knew that, if only that person *really* knew you, they would, well, they would of course dump the perfect model that they were with, and realize that YOU were the one that they wanted to, just, grow old with. Have you ever fallen in love with someone you haven't even talked to? Have you ever been so alone you spend the night confusing a man in a coma?

Not Marriage Material

I did came back from my vacation happy, relaxed and refreshed, but as I hurriedly got back into my usual life, some unexpected news hit my face with a splat. Sorry, it was more of a THUD. When I heard about the news, I couldn't breathe and that unexplainable pain was there again. I had to put on an unaffected face and told my friends I am absolutely fine, but deep within, my heart felt like a wobbly, melting jelly served on a sizzling platter. My ex got engaged. ("That SOB got engaged," was how it sounded in my head.)

How could someone, that you've been with for years decide to break up with you, but marry a girl he only knew for a year? I can't fathom any explanation to this, and I felt sick thinking that maybe I wasn't marriage material. It sucks, but it's a plausible explanation. I am going through some emotional turmoil right now; it's not as bad as it sounds (really), but I've been unable to concentrate on anything. I went from super high to super low, so if I don't update my blog for a few days, blame it on that SOB ex.

I'm so sorry for the language. Chocolates, anyone?

Maturity

Do women really mature earlier than men? Last night, I was watching the comedy show, 3rd Rock from the Sun, and I almost died with laughter when I heard this conversation between Dr. Albright and Nina (Dr. Albright's assistant), while watching Dr. Solomon make a fool of himself.

Dr. Albright: When does puberty end for a man?
Nina: Six months after death.
Happy Tuesday everyone!

Of Women And Heartaches

March was about heartaches. I say "was" because I think it's about time to put it behind. In the past two weeks, three of my women friends simultaneously got dumped by the "supposedly" love of their lives. It was a drama marathon. I was occupied consoling all three of them through all technological means possible - text, chat, phone, skype, e-mail and e-cards. It was more than I could handle. I truly understand exactly what they're going through especially the inexplicable physical body pains, the emotional turmoil, the psychological confusion, the non-stop crying and self blame. I kept telling them that "they'll be alright" and that "they're going to get through this," but I do know that none of my encouraging words are getting through. Because right now, the shock hasn't worn off and all they feel is that intense pain and the fear of being alone. I know, I've been there.

To my friends and whoever out there going through the same thing, there is hope and that you will get through this. This too shall pass.

Sadness flies on the wings of the morning and out of the heart of darkness comes the light. ~Jean Giraudoux

Path Chosen

Last year, the talk was about "babies," and this year, the theme is about "weddings." Of course, I am being ostracized on both conversations. People around me are wondering what am I doing with my life, and so many questions hover on my being unmarried. Although I don't blame them for such thoughts and that's because most cousins and friends my age are already married and have two or more children of their own. But what bothers me the most is when these type of questions seem to come up on group conversations, and some people can be so blunt and insensitive about telling me - that I'll be too old to have a baby or even find a man to marry. As usual, I laugh it off and make a joke about it, after some silent thought reminding myself that I'm getting good at handling these remarks, but deep inside, something somewhere inside me hurts. I'm not hurt because I am single and choose to be child free, but I am hurt because people are making my situation a problem. I don't think there's any problem with being single and child free. Gosh darn it, I am happy where I am. Isn't that what's suppose to matter? Why does my situation bother other people more than myself? Is the pressure to marry and have babies stronger on women than men? Are married people happier than those who remain single?

To my married, engaged, and single friends, happy Friday and have a fantastic weekend!