Family is a bit of a downer these days. Don't get me wrong. I love my family very much, but some family members are just not loving me back. Anyway, it's some issue I just don't want to write in specifics, but I do want to put my frustration in the open. There are times I really wish I could change someone or something, but I'm learning that, that isn't the solution. Some people don't want to change for the better. It really breaks my heart that sometimes, your own blood could do hurtful things to you. And even if you put all your efforts to keep the family together, someone just enjoys breaking the family apart. It is exhausting and frustrating. I've been feeling angry about this. Although I want these problems resolved, circumstances just won't allow it or certain people won't allow it.
Is there really a perfect family? Mine is full of imperfections, but it's my home - my own. It has come to a point where I feel helpless. I've been trying to understand what is going on and where did things go wrong, but I can't seem to get to the bottom of this. I wish there is a guideline or book about solving family problems; Is there? Looking at the efforts I've put into this, the solution is further than ever - not a hint and not even a shadow.
I think I've had enough and that I've given my best. This time, I am thinking of walking away.
My family is not perfect but I love them. Even if we would be reborn, we would still want each other as family members (I hope so). They are the major reason why I still look forward to being home.
ReplyDeleteIt's a phase (another one), Kayni. I'm sending my hugs to you. Take it cool. Take care.
"Families are like fudge - mostly sweet with a few nuts." ~Author Unknown
ReplyDelete.... I hope "things" with your family improves. All the best... Hugs, xx
that's so sad....yes, there is no perfect family. i'll pray that you'd settle your differences with your whoever in your family, SOON. :)
ReplyDeletewits, it's been a long phase, but i'm hoping you're right. hugs back.
ReplyDeletelailaa, it seems that with my family, there's a lot of nuts...lol. thank you.
kg, thank you. i really need your prayers.
When we were younger, there's always a fight among us siblings. But the older we get, the better we understand each other. I used to wish I could choose my family. But I realized now, that I probably would have chosen them anyway :)
ReplyDeleteNo one is perfect thus no family can be perfect in that sense. We all have members in our immediate or extended family who may be dysfunctional but all we can do is try our best to understand where they are coming from.
ReplyDeleteBut I also know truly well there is a limit to the stress they cause us. Sometimes enough is enough and we need to detoxify from family related problems.
Hang in there, Kayni. My thoughts and prayers are with you as you deal with this phase.
aww! sad to hear about this kayni. i'm sending some virtual hugs and kisses here. take it easy dear. hope things improve soon.
ReplyDeletemine is not a perfect family too but i love them. and i know i can run to them anytime i need some help.
I know what you mean Kayni. My family is not perfect either but those imperfections made them 100% worth loving.
ReplyDeleteA tight hug for you, dear. I come from such a dysfunctional family that only my grandmother managed to keep afloat. Yes sometimes, it is best to walk away. I did that once and took everything as a challenge. I guess she could not accept the fact i went this far -- on my own. She was always reminding me (in not nice ways) i am just like my lost mother hihi. I only pray she could get over it. We don't speak but i stick to birthday and Christmas greetings.....still i will not trade my family for anything in the world. Take care. mwaah!
ReplyDeletehello there kayni,
ReplyDeleteyour post reminded me of the opening line of Toltoy's Anna Karenina:
"Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way."
Hang in there, my friend.
Thank you so much, everyone. I am trying my best to deal with this situation as calmly and cordially as I can.
ReplyDeleteHugs back to all.
i can totally relate to his issue. and the toughest thing about families and all problems relating to them (imagined and/or real) is the guilt that grips you afterwards and the lingering question "have i done enough/too much?"
ReplyDeleteonyxx, you're so right about the guilt. i go through that each day especially when things get tough to deal with.
ReplyDeleteMe too... me too... hehe my family is not perfect but I love them soooo much. We have flaws but we all compromise. We communicate and we "try" to understand. It's not bad to hate them once in a while. It's not bad to let them know how bad you feel sometimes.
ReplyDeleteThere's always the black sheep, the prodigal son (maybe daughter), and there's always the evil ones. Every clan has it. Their truest forms are eminent when it comes to inheritance. Cheers!
ReplyDeleteEden, I have let them know how I feel, but if feels like it's falling on deaf ears...sigh.
ReplyDeleteTrublue, I think you got my point. The black sheep is supported by a greedy in-law, and that makes things worse.
Hugs, sweetie. Things will get better soon ;-) Don't worry I can't even count the number of times I've wanted to murder my family, then the wheel turns and we're all ok again
ReplyDeleteHi Caryn, I really hope the wheel turns soon. How have you been?
ReplyDelete