Yes, millions are terrified of facing singleness. To avoid it we settle for less, hooking up and staying in stale relationships. We marry, divorce, and do it again. It's a vicious little cycle. In desperation, we read books on finding a mate, and when that doesn't work, we read books on how to live alone and love it. Sadly, neither approach solves the dilemma because being single is not a condition to be cured. Being single is natural, as natural as being together. One is not better than the other - they are complementary. (Judy Ford, Single: The art of being satisfied, fulfilled, and independent)
Friday, May 29, 2009
Facing Singleness
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Singleness is a divine gift from God....
ReplyDeleteand happiness isn’t found in or out of marriage. It’s not found in any human relationship. True joy can be found within.
:)
Jeanny, what a wonderful way to put it. Thank you.
ReplyDeletethis is really one of the hardest challenges of life - deciding to stay single or be contented with someone who is not really the ideal mate- people conform to the norms that is having a partner-- slowly, time and customs are changing.. we'll see how it goes in the next generation
ReplyDeleteToni, you're so right...some people are meant to be married and some are not.
ReplyDeleteDon't be afraid of anything. Do what you've always wanted to do. Travel and explore. Study and learn. Love and be loved.
ReplyDeleteDon't just dip your feet in the water, dive! I say enjoy life!
Very well said. Being single isn't an illness nor is it a crime. The trick is to just live life to the best of one's ability without focusing too much on our relationship status. Just be happy with what we have. If that makes being single, so be it. =)
ReplyDeletethe quote is very right, better not to marry than to settle with who you feel is not your match..
ReplyDeletebeing single feels cool, very free, you can always flirt with new boys :-) and you don't have to deal with other people's baggage.
for almost a decade i was pestered by family and friends to marry. one of the reasons i left home was so i could be left alone to live my unmarried life- i had reached a state where i was totally fine with being single and did not see it as a bad thing. but heck, i found the person i wanted to be with and have a family with just then (not that i am saying this 'has' to be the scenario- i hate prescriptions). my point being life is something we just have to allow to play out. aren't the mysteries and discoveries of life grand as they are- irrespective of whether you are married or single?
ReplyDeletei think there is nothing wrong with being single. maybe only with being dumped LOL seriously, i think the most important thing is to be always happy with whatever state we are.
ReplyDeletetrue satisfaction is never in marriage but only in God alone. when a person is satisfied being single, so be it and become a blessing to others as single. never take a step to marry because of pressures from family and friends or for the sake of being called married.
ReplyDeleteI was often teased or asked for not being married until she met me:) or rather I met her even when I am far older than her.
It will come in His time.
Rico, Thank you. That's one of the best advices I've heard.
ReplyDeleteDaphne, I agree - completely.
Artemis, I do enjoy the freedom too.
Dina, It's the same with me, and this is one reason I try to limit attending family gatherings...lol. Relatives could point out anything from my weight, to my singleness, to beating the clock...lol. I'm glad you found your calling.
Prinsesa, Yes, we have to be happy of who and what we are.
Abella, Amen. Definitely, His time.
marriage is not an ultimate destination, nor the end-all be-all of life. so just live to the fullest, enjoy your freedom and find happiness within you. ^-^
ReplyDeleteWhen it comes to being single or being in a relationship, I've found that you cannot "be" without being happy with and within yourself. Either way, trust your instincts...
ReplyDeleteHugs, xx
Ms Firely, you said it so well...thank you.
ReplyDeleteLailaa, i agree...you have to "be" happy within. hugs back.
I agree 100%. Someone can find contentment equally in either way. It is also respecting one's choice.
ReplyDeleteWits, Absolutely.
ReplyDeletebeing a single doesn't mean that no one loves you. its just that you can complete yourself without depending on other person.
ReplyDeleteoh well. i will just wait for God's best instead of forcing myself just to be in the flow.
Dyanie, Yes, in God's time.
ReplyDeletethere are pros and cons of being single and of being married. but either won't guarantee one's happiness; (because) happiness is relative.
ReplyDeleteso for as long as you are happy being single, just be.:)
fren, I agree. It's also a matter of choice for a person. The important thing is - he/she is happy with the choice he/she makes.
ReplyDeletewhen i didn't have a boyfriend for almost 2 years, i really felt so happy eventhough other people teased me i might be the problem (a man who asked me to marry him suddenly disappeared when i asked him to wait 1 year more before marrying he called me a year later just to tell me he's gotten married already)... being married now, i still miss that personal space or just being alone but then again, i know i couldn't last a day or week without seeing my husband.
ReplyDeletewhen i was "sooo" single, i contemplated a lot, was able to know my real wants in life and for what i was really looking for in a man. i didnt have an "ideal" ideal man, i had "realistic" ideal man.. i was able to establish "good" relationships with other people and bonded a lot with my friends who i tend to forget whenever i was in a serious relationship...
i have a friend who was so afraid of being single. she would have another boyfriend before breaking up with her present boyfriend.. she got tired eventually after loving too much.
i told her to be single for as long as she could.. so she could contemplate more and be more aware of what she really needs or wants to happen to her life and future.. it's at this time too that she can realize how important it is to treasure other relationships are other than having a boyfriend... and now, she's loving it too much...
I know of some people who can't stand being single or afraid of being single. I don't understand them. I certainly was not afraid of being single forever (I thought I would be).
ReplyDeleteAnyways, sorry for my late visit. Still organizing our life =)
Hi Kayni! I've changed my link na po to : http://edenshappydose.blogspot.com
ReplyDeleteBy far, I've never really enjoyed being single. I'd rather stay in love. Being single for me is an emotional torture. It's not that I lack love from my family or friends. I feel like it's totally a different kind of love if you have your very own partner in life.
ReplyDelete