What do you do when you're nervous or scared of something? Because I'm nervous as hell at the moment.
I have big ticket items on my list for the next few months, and I'm not talking about concert tickets. I'm actually pertaining to (1) a root canal; (2) surgery this week; and, (3) a second possible surgery sooner or later this year. I feel overwhelmed.
I am scheduled to undergo Laparoscopic Cholecystectomy this Thursday. I know it's one of the most commonly performed surgical procedures, but I'm a worry wart and it doesn't make things easy.
My question is, "How many more medical procedures do I have to go through?" I'm frustrated and there are times I feel defeated in my quest for normalcy. Somehow, I've forgotten how it feels to be normal. What is normalcy anyway? For a BMT survivor, I guess this is my new normal - to keep fighting and surviving.
I've been unable to get a decent sleep the past few days, so I've been keeping myself occupied by "going out" (walking and shopping) and if I'm at home, I bake.
I feel happiest when I'm baking. The humming of my mixer helps dull the pain of my worries.
My mind turns to happier memories as the oven warms my kitchen. I feel excitement as the aromas of cinnamon and vanilla fill my home. My sense of taste takes over as I savor every bite of anything I baked.
When I bake, I am in my happy place.
Linking with Wordless Wednesday.