Wednesday Mutter

It's Wednesday and I don't feel like working. This is probably because I didn't get a decent sleep last night. It felt rather warm even if we're still supposedly in winter. We did get one big snow storm, but this winter was the warmest I've ever experienced while living in Maryland. I'm so afraid we'll skip spring and head straight to an excruciatingly hot and humid summer.

I hope I'm wrong.

Today, we're expected to reach 79 degrees. That is 20 degrees above normal temperatures for this time of the year.

 

This is a park close to our house.

On another note, I am recovering well from my surgery. Thank you to all your well wishes and prayers. I think that my system is still adjusting to the loss of my gallbladder, but I've been feeling much better the past few days. The stitches are coming out next week.

Linking with Wordless Wednesday and Skywatch.

Finding My Happy Place

What do you do when you're nervous or scared of something? Because I'm nervous as hell at the moment.

I have big ticket items on my list for the next few months, and I'm not talking about concert tickets. I'm actually pertaining to (1) a root canal; (2) surgery this week; and, (3) a second possible surgery sooner or later this year. I feel overwhelmed.

I am scheduled to undergo Laparoscopic Cholecystectomy this Thursday. I know it's one of the most commonly performed surgical procedures, but I'm a worry wart and it doesn't make things easy.

My question is, "How many more medical procedures do I have to go through?" I'm frustrated and there are times I feel defeated in my quest for normalcy. Somehow, I've forgotten how it feels to be normal. What is normalcy anyway? For a BMT survivor, I guess this is my new normal - to keep fighting and surviving.

I've been unable to get a decent sleep the past few days, so I've been keeping myself occupied by "going out" (walking and shopping) and if I'm at home, I bake.

 I feel happiest when I'm baking. The humming of my mixer helps dull the pain of my worries.

My mind turns to happier memories as the oven warms my kitchen. I feel excitement as the aromas of cinnamon and vanilla fill my home. My sense of taste takes over as I savor every bite of anything I baked.

When I bake, I am in my happy place.

Linking with Wordless Wednesday.

Winter Advisory And Blog Award

Taken - January 2015.

I thought Mr. Winter had forgotten the good ol' State of Maryland.  For some time now, our weather has been more spring-like than winter. It was sort of a dull Christmas season because it was devoid of any sort or form of white dusting. Then lo and behold, there's been a lot of chatter about a winter weather advisory for this coming Friday! We're talking about a blizzard watch!

I'm not sure if I should get excited or worried because I commute to work and a snow storm means slippery roads and train delays. I'm still hoping our office will decide to close and I'd get my first snow day of the year. Yipeee!

Well, let's leave the topic of weather for the time being.

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This week, I've been given a blog award by Saturday Thoughts; it's been ages since I received one. Thank you so much for the award.

7 Random Facts About Me

1. Since my transplant and I lost all my hair due to chemo, I have no patience in letting my hair grow. I've been keeping my hair really short since then.
2. I work in an industry that has nothing to do with what I studied in college. Can anyone guess what I do?  (I studied History in undergrad by the way.)
3. I still prefer snail mail to e-mail.
4. I love it when it rains. It brings me a feeling of relief.
5. I am starting a new blog dedicated solely for travel and photos - kayni: travel cafe. I hope I can keep it up. This blog, kayni's corner cafe, will remain as my personal blog.
6. If asked what I'd love to do full-time - travel.
7. I love to travel but I hate flying.

NOTE: I am supposed to nominate a number of blogs for this award, but I'd suggest that anyone who'd love to do this post are welcome to do so. Just do let me know so that I can come read your post.

Mechanics:

Display the award in your blog.

Thank the person who nominated you.

Share 7 random facts about yourself.

2015 Recap

I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas, Hanukkah or Kwanzaa.

This year, I baked cupcakes and cookies and gave them to neighbors, family and friends.

The warm weather causes a Cherry Blossom to bloom in December. This is the first time I've seen something like this after living in the DC area for 14 years.

Kepi and I had a quiet and restful Christmas. We really enjoyed attending the evening service on Christmas Eve. With the unwinterlike 72-degree temperature on Christmas Day, we celebrated with a small dinner prepared by Kepi and spent the rest of the day watching Christmas movies. At this time of year when majority of the people are frantic and stressed about gifts, parties and social obligations, I prefer the quiet comfort of home and the presence as well as thoughts of people who really matter in my life.

Daisy wasn't too happy with the red bow on her head.

As 2015 comes to a close, I realize that this year has been about catching up. This is because I spent most of 2014 at the hospital. I feel that I lost so much time and felt the need to make up for it. However, I'm starting to understand that there's no such thing as lost or wasted time and that the months I've stayed at the hospital were an important and essential part in my journey to recovery and health.

As a year-in-review, 2015 was full of challenges, surprises and blessings. The following are my 2015 highlights:

• Survived Shingles in the beginning of the year: Although I'm still suffering from residual nerve pain, I am hopeful that soon all the pain will cease to exist.
• Earned my master's degree in International Affairs at Georgetown: Attending classes in between a full-time job and numerous blood transfusions made me think I'd never see the day I'd get my diploma. Graduation finally arrived in May and I was ecstatic and proud.
• Traveled to Tennessee, Ireland, France and the UK: In May, Kepi and I visited Ireland where I met my Iggy Sister Odette. Then we took my parents on a road trip to visit Elvis Presley's Graceland (Memphis), stayed at the Peabody Hotel and watched the famous Duck Parade, drove to Nashville where we explored the Country Music Hall of Fame and saw a concert at the Grand Ole Opry. In November, I finally realized my dream of taking my parents to Europe. We started our trip in the UK where we toured London, Stonehenge, Oxford and the Windsor Castle. We took the train to Paris and visited Versailles, enjoyed the city of Paris on foot through the Eiffel Tower, meeting Mona Lisa at the Louvre Museum, hoping to see Quasimodo at the Notredame Cathedral and wandered through the shops and Christmas Markets of Champs Elysees.
• Visits from family and high school friends - Andrea (California), Weng (Canada) and Kristian (Philippines)
• Mom's Health: Although Mom suffered a stroke, she's still walking and talking. This last couple of months have been filled with her medical appointments, but I'm grateful that she's still with us and she continues to improve. I pray that next year, she'll regain her normal life and routine.

Overall, 2015 was still a great year!

Season Of Hope

I didn't plan to go off the grid for a long time, but life became too busy and too complicated that I couldn't find the time to formulate letters into words, words into sentences and sentences into paragraphs.

In short, life had other plans for me.

Well, yesterday was the first day of winter, but temperatures have soared into the 50s and 70s. Thanks to El Nino. Even the Cherry Blossoms are confused as they have untimely bloomed. This "warm winter" is giving people a hard time getting into the Christmas spirit as well.

It's been another tough year for Kepi and I, but each year as the Christmas season arrives, I am filled with HOPE that things will get better, and as we get closer to 2016, may it be a kinder year for all of us - for the world.

Wishing everyone a

MERRY CHRISTMAS

and a

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Do I Need New Friends?

After two agonizing weeks with shingles, today is a bit better.

I still feel like crap though and my skin looks like it was burnt.  My face is hideous; at least the part affected by shingles is.  My left eye is blurry and I have that itchy, sensitive feeling on my scalp.  The Ophthalmologist checked my eye on Friday, and he said everything looks great.  I have to see him again in a week.  I didn't know shingles can be so dangerous especially when it affects the eye.  Thank God for early diagnosis and timely intervention of the anti-viral drugs, it could have been worse.  I'm pissed because having shingles will postpone my May vaccinations.

Winter, icy conditions and sickness can really reel in the blues.  I've been feeling the weight of the world on my shoulders.

Lately, I've been contemplating about the lack thereof or having too few friends in the area.  I know I have many childhood and high school friends (you know who you are), but almost all of them live abroad.

Is it really harder to make friends when you're older? Or have I simply stopped making the effort to make friends?

I've Got Shingles

and it is so painful.

I'll be on sick leave for almost two weeks. I've got the nasty lesions on my forehead and left eye.  My left eye is so swollen and blurry.

Singles freakin' sucks and I feel angry.

Well, we got unexpected snow this weekend.  As I write this post, it's about a foot now.

 Kepi shoveling the driveway. We were thinking it might be time to move to a warmer state.

Watching snow from our bedroom window.

After shoveling the snow, Kepi is now making chicken and rice soup.

Thank you Kepi. You ALWAYS make me feel so much better even when I'm at my lowest points.

One-Way Ticket To Mars

If you were chosen, would you go to Mars knowing that it's a one-way ticket?

When I'm not snoring sleeping on the Metro on my way to work, I usually scan the pages of express, a free publication offered to Metro riders.  This article (photo below) got my attention.

This Mars thing is from a company called Mars One. There were 200,000 applicants interested to go to Mars. Currently, there are 660 people chosen. Tomorrow, it will be reduced to 100.  The three people featured below are still in contention. As you can see, one is from Virginia and two are from D.C.

They have several reasons why they want to go, but one thing I can deduce is the chance to make a mark. Don't we all want that? Or, do we? Maybe not, but I don't know.

In the article, the questions, (1) What would you miss on Earth? and (2) What would you bring to Mars?, were posted to Daniel, Derrick and Dr. Zucker.  Daniel of Virginia said he'll miss the birth of his grandchild. Derrick of D.C. said he'll miss his family, but he also mentioned that going to Mars would bring pride to his family as well. Dr. Zucker of D.C. didn't mention anything she'd miss and she sounded most apt and prepared with her decision to go. I quote her statement below:

People ask, "Why would you want to go?" But I see the reverse. Why wouldn't I want to go? People ask, "Well what if you die?" Well, I could die getting hit by a car tomorrow. I could die of old age. Or, I could die trying to be the first human to set foot on Mars. Why wouldn't I want that? (express, 02.12.2015 issue)

When asked what they would bring to Mars? Daniel said he'll bring his mandolin.  Derrick his iPod.  And, Dr. Zucker said he'll bring her husband, but if she can't bring him then she'll bring her "Looney Pyramids," a deck of playing cards.

I love the whole idea of becoming a pioneer and the idea of living in another planet is so exciting. But it also worries me that we've been living on Earth yet we're failing to protect and take care of it.  How could we even think of populating yet another planet? I don't know...just my thought.

But if given the chance, would I go? No, thank you.

You can say that I don't have the spirit of a space pioneer, but I don't like the idea of a one-way ticket to Mars. It's scary. Perhaps this fear stems from those science fiction movies I've seen featuring human devouring aliens and even if there are no hostile, bloodthirsty aliens out there, look at that movie, Gravity, even the character that George Clooney plays dies in space.  Call me a coward, I don't care. I don't like a one-way ticket to uncertainty. Not to mention I still haven't explored much of Earth. Besides, I'd miss my family and friends too much.

I guess the second question does not apply to me.

How about you? Would you go? Why? What would you bring to Mars?

Monday, Monday!

At home today, feeling sick.  I wasn't able to sleep last night at all.  Since they've started tapering all my medications, my body has been going through a lot of aches and pains.  My doctor said it's typical to feel this way as my body is adjusting again. I hope to feel normal...soon. Whatever "normal" means for me these days.

Daisy's been under the weather as well. Kepi took her to the vet today and she had a complete check-up. All seems to be normal except that she's been unable to keep her food. I do hope that with the coming of the warmer weather, she'll bounce back. I do miss playing with her at the backyard.

Here's Daisy in one of her pensive moments. She tends to be camera shy just like Dizzy.

Kepi and I having breakfast at a Starbucks after church yesterday. Happy Valentine's Day!

For some great news, my doctor said travel is a "go" as long as I get my vaccinations first.  I am scheduled to get my first round of shots in mid-May.  Kepi and I are excited about planning our trip/s this year. How I've missed traveling the exhilaration and freedom that comes with it. I can't wait!

Well...tonight we're expecting snow and sleet.  I am still hoping for a snow day!

January 11: First Re-Birthday!

It is officially one year since my bone-marrow transplant (BMT)!

Today is my first re-birthday and I couldn't be happier.  Those who have gone through a BMT would fully understand what this day is all about.  I am beyond words.  I have no words that can truly capture what I'm feeling.

At the 8 AM mass, all I could utter were, "Thank you." I hope it is sufficient. I do hope I am worthy.

I didn't have a cake, so I just used one of my pill containers - "May cause dizziness."

Later that day, Kepi took me out for an Italian lunch, and we shared a slice of Lemon Cream Cake. The cake was delicious and we loved it.

This was taken on January 11, 2014. This bag took almost 6 hours to infuse.

The photo above was taken on Day 0, the day I got infused with my donor's cells.  I still remember it like yesterday.  I cried.

My heartfelt gratitude to my family, friends and everyone who gave me that extra push to keep going. Thank you to my donor.  Thank you God for giving me a second chance in life.

A Chilly Update

I woke up to a gusty, chilly morning -7 degrees Fahrenheit!  My ears are tingly and my face is numb. It doesn't help that I'm hauling a big bag of books to be returned at the library. Fun stuff!

Spring semester begins today. I'm taking two elective courses (Tuesdays and Thursdays). It's ironic that this semester just started yet I can't wait for this semester to be over. Over - I mean graduate. I will decide later if I want to keep going. Hard to tell right now.

Next week, I'll be going for my one year bone-marrow biopsy. I am keeping positive. Hopefully, I will get my vaccinations soon. Yes, I have to re-take all my childhood vaccinations. I hope not all shots in one day or my shoulders will be sore.

I am keeping my fingers crossed that travel will be possible this year. Doctor's call though.

Also, my gallbladder surgery "might" push through as well. (This will depend if my biopsy result is normal.) I am scared of surgery, but it's better to have it done than suffer from weekly painful attacks.

Just a short update today. It's time for afternoon tea and biscuits.

Char Sui Buns, Grad School and the Holidays

Char Sui buns for lunch today. Thanks to the polar blast, my coworkers and I decided to just order Chinese food for delivery. The winter-like temperatures can make anyone feel lazy to go out.

I don't know, but I feel like writing today. Blame it on that Venti cafe mocha I had this morning.  Hmmm....caffeine must be kicking in.

With Thanksgiving arriving next week, the office is quiet for a change. It is that time of year when most projects get wrapped up. I do have a number of projects looming, but they're not due in the next few weeks. My boss will be out on vacation next week, so the mouse can play just a wee bit. You know, put my feet up on my desk, eat some cheese and drink some cafe mocha. More coffee?

Grad school has been keeping me busy. My decision to go back to school was met with protests. I know friends meant well, and I fully understood where they're coming from. I shouldn't be taking too much stress as I'm still in the process of recovery. In the scheme of things, this semester is tough but manageable with the help and support of my husband. Yup, I married the right guy; thank you, Kepi.

I have two weeks left this semester. I submitted my second research paper last night, and I have one more to go. My third research will be about the Russian film "Beg" and a novel "Pnin." Russian emigre is the theme. I am not sure what to think about this topic yet.

The signs of Christmas are here! I know, I know. Thanksgiving enthusiasts will shush me, but I can't help it. I'm a Christmas person. In keeping with traditions, Kepi and I will put up the tree after Thanksgiving. We're going for the real tree this year.  I've already started sending Christmas cards overseas, completing my Christmas gift list (just the list), and planning how to make the house more Christmassy. Anyone in the blog world want to exchange gifts with me this year? Just curious.

Yes, I am ready for the new year. Here's my 2015 planner and I can't wait to fill it up with new adventures and posts of gratitude.

I am so excited because life is something to be excited about.

Why I Write?

Autumn at Shenandoah

My husband says that I have a problem calming my mind. It's true. My mind is always rambling even to the wee hours of the night. It's a blessing because great ideas flow like a river at times and a curse because it invites unwelcomed insomnia. Ideas are much faster processed in my mind and sometimes words fail to capture my thoughts. Thus, I use photography to aid my writing.

I don't consider myself a writer. My grammar isn't perfect. My vocabulary is limited and it isn't spectacular. At times, my linking verbs do not agree, yet it isn't enough reason for me to stop blogging. I have thoughts and they need an outlet.

My blog started as a personal journal and it still is. Kayni's Corner Cafe is about my travel/personal journal and Kayni's Bone Marrow is all about my bone-marrow transplant which took place early this year.

What am I working on?

There are two things that come to mind:

Winter in Maryland 2013

Recovery. On New Year's Day, January 1st, 2014, I was admitted at the hospital to start my treatment for Aplastic Anemia. I went through ATG, chemotherapy and full-body radiation. On January 11, I received my donor's marrow and additional chemotherapy after that. After more than two months at the hospital, I am finally home trying to regain my strength. I find physical recovery easier as it can be aided with medication and exercise, but psychologically, the trauma of going through a bone-marrow transplant is a bit harder to overcome. Sometimes, I find myself going through the experience over and over again. I also get flashbacks during unexpected times of the day.

Let's just say, I am rediscovering or recovering myself, but I don't think I will ever be the same person again. Bone-marrow transplant has changed a part of me that I have yet to understand.

Homemade Rava Ladoo and tea

Baking. Recovering at home has rekindled my love for baking and cooking. I have several recipes lined up to try and the photo above was the first time I made rava ladoo. I love the smell of cookies and bread wafting through the house.

It is the people and the smell that makes our house a home. So if I haven't been blogging much lately, I'm either studying a recipe or testing a recipe in the kitchen.

How does my writing/work differ from others in its genre?

I write when I am pulled or pushed by emotions. My experiences in life are my driving force to write. There are no experiences alike. Even if two people visited exactly the same place, their opinions will vary in some way or totally. My task is to share mine.

Why do I write what I do?

Because each person has a voice and each person has a story to tell; this is mine. I'd like to think that my experiences in life can and will inspire other people. When I read a book or someone's blog, I learn about that person and that person's life and interest; that is my hope with this blog. My posts are mostly on travel and my life. Perhaps through this medium, someone can pick up a thing or two from my blog entries.

After two months at the hospital, I am finally home with our cat, Dizzy.

How does my writing process work?

I am an emotional writer. I don't have a schedule and I just write when I feel like it. My thought process works best when I am not pressured by grammar and deadlines. I love free writing. There are instances when I find my thoughts so stifling that there's a need to vent.

A light on a wintry night

So there's an insight to why I write and it's my turn to pass the baton to three wonderful women writers or bloggers.

Maricel

I was always amazed with painters and paintings.I started blogging because I was obsessed with fine art..and photography. So when I got my first point and shoot camera, it was where I put my obsession with art. I am not an artist painter, but I felt that with photography, I can freeze any moment I like to capture. Writing with photos makes me happy.

I just recently offered my photography services professionally, and I hope to capture beautiful moments of people.

http://mariqia.wordpress.com/

~~~~~~~~~~

Angeli

I’m Angeli Picazo, a 36-year old Filipina who has yet to make her dreams of traveling the world and learning a foreign language a reality. When I’m not on the road, my life revolves around words: I am an editor and instructional designer by profession, and, when I’m not working, I’m usually lost in a book or attempting to string words together.   I love mountains, literature, trekking, solitude, Beethoven, Bollywood, swimsuits, the agony and ecstasy of travel, the comfort and solace of family and friends.

http://www.muffledsolitude.com/

~~~~~~~~~~

Maria

Born and raised in Tarlac.  Grew up in a household where both Ilocano and Kapangpangan were spoken.  Graduated BS Psych.  First job was Guidance Counselor at College of the Holy Spirit in Tarlac (I loved it, but I loved my co-workers more).

http://calrat.blogspot.com/

http://pangtest.blogspot.com/

~~~~~~~~~~

And finally, I want to thank Loree for giving me this opportunity to look within and rediscover my love for writing and photography. Thank you sweet lady!

Loree

Lorna Dykstra (or Loree as she is known to her circle of friends) is a  pharmacist by profession. By day she works in a multi-national pharmaceutical company and by night you will find her at her desk doing what she loves best - writing. Home is the island of Malta, right in the middle of the Mediterranean sea, where she lives with her American husband and eight-going-on-eighteen year old son. She describes herself as a wife, a mother, a daughter, a dreamer, a hopeless romantic, an endless contradiction. Lorna loves the NW wind, grey skies and rough seas, golden sunsets and ancient, winding streets.  She also loves chocolate: the dark and bitter kind. Her other passions are reading, photography and baking. A bit of a gypsy at heart, she is always on the look-out for the next adventure that will take her beyond the shores of the small island on which she lives. One of her dreams is to visit all the capital cities of Europe and the fifty American States. Lorna writes more or less weekly on her blog Stories & Scribbles and occasionally on her second blog Snapshots of an Island.

http://loreeswritingspace.blogspot.fr/

http://allaboutmalta.blogspot.fr/

Hello Spring!

It's been raining a lot, but I can't complain. Life is beautiful no matter what.

Cherry Blossoms and my favorite hat.

I'm struggling - where to begin and what should I write. I am now +109 days since my bone-marrow transplant, and I am taking each day as it comes.

My doctor said I can go out now but must stay away from crowded places, from kids and eat at clean restaurants during off hours. It's not that bad of an adjustment, and I am slowly building my muscle strength. Walking is a bit of a struggle these days due to joint pains, but I have to keep moving forward.

Here's what I've been up to:

• Family and I were able to enjoy the cherry blossoms in the Bethesda area. The photo above was taken there. We didn't go to the grander cherry blossoms in DC because the place is packed with people. We did manage to do a drive through, and the cherry blossoms were beautiful.
• I took my first trip out-of-town last week to Kettle Village and Hershey's Chocolate World. My taste for sweets is coming back.
• My interest in baking is at its peak. This is probably because I have a lot of time to kill. I will be posting about my kitchen diaries on rava ladoo, gulab jamon and more.
• Kepi and I have our vegetable garden up. The majority of the work fell on Kepi as I'm not allowed to touch dirt because of bacteria and mold. We have tomatoes, bok choy, tomatillo, eggplant and squash growing. I'm also trying to plant chayote and some sweet peppers from Japan.
• I'm going back to grad school in September, and I'm so excited. I have two semesters left...yay!
• My hair is starting to grow back just when I'm getting used to wearing hats.

I am where I should be. Each day, I keep fighting and I keep counting my blessings.

Also, I don't miss work at all.

Ciao 2013! Aloha 2014!

A few hours from now, a brand new year begins.

What can I say, 2013 was a difficult year. Yes, I used "was" because I am so ready to leave this year behind.  It seems auspicious that my treatment begins on January 1st signaling that 2014 would be a year of hope and healing. I pray that 2014 will be a kinder, more generous and fulfilling year.

I don't specifically hate this year, but it is a year that I cried the most and spent a lot of time in hospitals. However, I will try to find the good things about it because the good things "always" outweigh the bad.

• I got married - May 3rd
• I came to know the courageous part of me
• Got closer to God, family and friends
• Sold my first home at Vision
• Paid off my credit cards
• Bought a new home with my husband
• Felt the support of family and friends
• Found the support of coworkers and my firm
• Met a kind, understanding transplant doctor
• Took several road trips - Niagara Falls Canada, New York, New Jersey, VA Beach etc.

Thank you 2013 for all the blessings you have brought and the lessons you have taught.

Wishing everyone a blessed 2014! Thank you so much for the love and support.

Love,

Kayni

Waiting Angry

Yesterday, Dr. D walked into my infusion room. After the unnecessary nice chit-chat, she dropped a bomb. "We're having a hard time finding you a matched donor. Could we test your parents and siblings again?" My heart fell and my hopes to be cured began to wither.

Truly, life has a way of throwing curve balls. I feel like I've been dodging them ever since. Waiting for a donor is a painful process. During the preliminary search, my doctors at NIH said I have possible 132 donors in the US alone and an additional 130 in the international registry. So what happened? Is Dr. D saying that none of these donors match me fully?

I was so angry yesterday. Having a bone-marrow failure really is a test of mind and body, and I feel like I am being pushed to my limit. My patience is so short I could snap at anybody or anyone. I feel that my disease is changing me.

Kepi did offer a calmer perspective that "Dr. D is just making sure there's a plan B in placed in case a fully matched unrelated donor is not found." Perhaps but I didn't want to hear a plan B. I want a non-experimental approach to my cure. I want to be cured period.

Anyway, I am back to being frantic and worried again.  I seriously need some good news today or in the next few days.

A Friday Thought

I seem to be getting my blogging spirit back but that's probably because I need an outlet or a place to vent. I am yearning for a place - a safe place that no illness can reach.

Preparations for the bone marrow transplant is rolling as we speak. The hospital sent me a message that HLA testing results should be in by next week. After that, they'd be able to identify my 10/10 match.  I am praying they'd find him/her soon, and I hope he/she will say, "Yes".

Timing is a bit off because if my calculation is right, I'll be admitted at the hospital by late November or early December. I dread spending Christmas at the hospital. It won't be easy not being home during the holidays especially that I'll be spending at least four to six weeks in there.

On another thought, I wanted to write about my transplant experience on this blog, but since my husband's company wants to set up bone marrow drives in the area, I had to start a new blog for them to use for their campaign. (I didn't like the idea of my husband's coworkers reading about our personal stuff so I'm keeping this blog just for us.)

So if you'd be interested to follow my bone marrow journey, please follow me here - kayni's bone marrow. I also started a Facebook page to create awareness on rare diseases and the urgent need for minority bone marrow donors, please help me disseminate information by liking this Facebook Page. This is the least I can do for now. This page will also publish current bone marrow drives going on in the area.

I wish everyone a happy Friday and a great weekend. Thank you for all the encouraging comments, please keep them coming.

Things Got To Change!

It's a humid, rainy and sluggish Monday!  The first thought I had when I woke up was ~ I want to go back to bed.  With much protestation, I dragged my ass to work anyway.  Of course, on the way to DC, traffic is horrible as always; people forget how to drive when it's raining. I can't or I don't even want to calculate how much time I have wasted sitting on gridlock since the beginning of this year. I feel that I have wasted a lot that I could have spent in more productive things. Things got to change!

While I think of change, here's a quick list of what's going on, on my side of the woods:

• Our house search is over, we found a house we love in Montgomery County.  The house is just 20 minutes drive to the Metro, so it will cut my commute in half. The house inspection and appraisal are done, so all we're waiting for right now is the settlement date.  Kepi and I are very excited and feel blessed.
• Moving is an emotional process and a stressful chore.  We have started packing the things we don't use on a regular basis. The living room feels big, the bookcases are empty and all the winter clothes are now in boxes. I will miss Pinky but moving on is part of life.
• I finally got a potted Calamansi (Calamondin) and this one comes bearing blooms and fruits.  I am elated and I keep checking if they're big enough for the picking. I look forward to having real Calamansi added to my "sawsawan" or dipping sauce.
• This week, we have relatives from Guam visiting...so excited.
• I hate to mention this but on June 25th, I'm going for another bone marrow biopsy. As always, my nerves are kicking in this early. Please send me positive thoughts.

Summer Break

Spring has sprung, school is out and I am back.

I am officially on summer break, but it seems that the summer months will be proven busy.  I will be blogging more the next few months, but my posts will be a bit sporadic as the clock has started for us to search for a new home; I'm very excited.

Here's a bulleted update from me:

• Spring semester was a bit troubling. I had a professor who barely spoke English and had the tendency to gloat all about his international/political feats during his lectures. I'm afraid to get my grade on this one; I did give him the lowest evaluation ever. I hope the dean would do something about him. Although I doubt it, as he told us in class that "[he] is an institution". Blah, as if I care. It bothers me that Georgetown allows him to teach there.
• Pinky is now on the market; we've been doing a lot of renovations and I think it's time to let her go. I feel sad that I'll be leaving my first home soon. I hope the next owners will look after her and keep her in great condition. We're now in the midst of finding our new home; I am excited.
• My wedding was beautiful, and I'm not just saying it because it's my wedding.  We were blessed because all we've prayed for came true: (1) it was a typical spring day - not too hot and not too cold; (2) no rain; (3) the tulips were in full bloom; and, (4) friends and family came. It was an indescribable moment for me; there was a mixture of excitement and stress but in the end, everything came together as it should be. This is one event I'd like to experience only once.
• NIH decided to take me off my treatment due to a growth on my left leg. My doctors think my treatment is causing the growth. My leg is under observation at the moment, so I'm not sure what are the next steps. Right now, I don't want to think about my health concerns. I'll let my doctors worry about that.
• I've started to cut off the people that are negative in my life. I have no use for their toxic energy. As I went through health and other types of crises, I came to recognize who are my real friends and they're not usually family. Sad but true.
• I'm excited for our long weekend trip to Niagara Falls. This time the parents will be with us. It will be their first time to see the place.

I hope to catch up on everyone's blog.

A Short Bitter Update

In a few days, spring semester begins once again. My classes are less interesting compared to the fall, but it looks like the requirements aren't demanding as last year. Anyway, I wanted to post a short update before I get lost again in the realm of late night classes, lectures and textbooks. For the next few months, I'll miss the fun of going to bed early or having those lazy nights molding in front of the TV.

In the other aspects of life:

I have been keeping quiet about this, but today was the breaking point. I got a call from my clinical nurse that I need to repeat the bone-marrow biopsy. Imagine how I sunk into sudden depression. The reason for this repeat biopsy is because of an unexplained tumor on my left leg; I noticed the growth about a few months ago. The few weeks before my flight to Spain, I went through several tests including MRIs (twice) and a Cat Scan. The surgeon overlooking my case believes that the tumor is benign and does not like the idea of surgery because of my low platelets. So here I am again, facing another biopsy. Whatever happens, this is no longer in my hands.

Amidst the challenges in my world, the wedding plans are on-going.  Sometimes I feel that I am putting so much burden on Kepi. I am thankful he's on my side but I am also sad that he has to carry a lot of my stressful situation.

116 days to go before my wedding day.

So much that has happened and is happening are out of my control, and these remind me of a quote from the movie Lord of the Rings.

'So do I,' said Gandalf, and so do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.