Outside Looking In

About six years ago, my sister decided to work abroad and left her three kids and husband behind to become a domestic helper in Hong Kong. I had immense fear. I feared for her safety, and I feared for her family’s situation, but my sister calmly told me, “Sacrifices have to be made for the family. I’ll be fine.” After a few months in Hong Kong, my sister and her employer got into a dispute, and this resulted in my sister filing a law suit against her employer.

As my sister bravely faced her own legal battles abroad, we, the family, were left in the dark not knowing who to turn to or ask for help. As for my sister, she was left to fend for her own in a foreign land. Desperate to find another employer, my sister asked help from her agency and other agencies who did not do anything but ask for more money for all reasons I found to be absurd and suspicious; the agencies still kept the money even after they failed finding her employment.  Truth cannot be denied that out there, there are agencies and individuals who would con their fellow overseas foreign workers (OFWs) for selfish financial gain; this is in addition to the lack thereof of available government programs to help OFWs abroad and at home. In the end, my sister won her case, was given her unpaid wages and a paid ticket back to the Philippines. With that short stay in Hong Kong and a win on her law suit, my sister came home to face another battle – to save her marriage.

BATTLES

OFWs and their families are involved in two, among many, major battles. First, they have to endure the separation from their love ones while still maintaining their family’s integrity back home. This applies to all OFWs but more to parents leaving a partner and children behind, but single OFWs too face the blunt reality that family support is no longer a tricycle, jeepney or bus away. Second, they face the battle to survive the challenges and demands of working in a foreign country, adjust to their host country’s laws and culture, and find normalcy in their new environment. Apart from all these, they have to endure the longing of love ones each waking day. These are just a few of the sacrifices an OFW makes.

Since I started writing this entry, there are two discernible themes – LOVE and SACRIFICE. I think these two are the main components that keep OFWs alive and thriving. If you ask a number of OFWs why they chose to work abroad, you wouldn’t be surprised if the common instantaneous response is, “It’s for my family.” It is a common response, but it is such an unselfish and loving response. This proves that no desert is hot enough, no distance too far, or no country too cold can keep an OFW from uplifting his or her family’s welfare first before his or her own.

And to those left at home, they are left to endure the absence of a mother, a father, a sister or a friend. For a parent, left to assume the responsibilities of both mother and father, he or she must solely look after the children because there’s a balance to be kept, a gap to be filled, and normalcy to be attained. In my sister’s absence and with the intent to keep the children’s lives as normal as possible, we, my family and relatives, stepped in to look after her children, but no matter how much love, sacrifice and guidance were given, someone or something will still go astray. It is regretful that my sister’s marriage did not survive.

PUT YOUR FAMILY FIRST

So before anyone decides to work abroad, one must take into consideration EVERYTHING. Sit down with your whole family and decide what is best. Ask for everyone's cooperation to keep the communication open and to maintain the family bond strong.  Make them understand that when someone decides to work abroad, there are things at stake, but emphasize to yourself and your family that the family always comes first.  Before you board that plane to somewhere, keep your family and love ones in your heart and never let them go.

Yes, my sister’s story is not new, but it cuts deep through the heart of every OFW who has to endure time away from family and friends. My sister’s story is neither special nor unique, but what happened to my sister’s family is an example of what some members of the OFW community are facing these days. The breakdown of the family structure is just one among many growing social problems that some OFW families face today.  This needs to be addressed individually and socially, but I'd like to address the individual foremost, self-discipline and self respect is key.

To OFWs and their families, it is important to remain true to God and your vows, imbibe in your children the importance of faith, good values, and loyalty to family. Most of all, you must demand from your individual self to be a good example to your family, your community, and your country at all times.  Lead by becoming a good example.

ADDRESS YOUR BIGGER FAMILY – THE COMMUNITY

To your fellow OFWs, unite and help each other. Since you are all going through very similar circumstances and challenges, do not fail to extend a helping hand or offer a shoulder to cry on for those in need. Become messengers and beacons of strength and hope. Trash that crab mentality and put into practice the essence of bayanihan.  Help each other. Uplift each other.

As more people join the OFWs’ community, it is a powerful entity that can demand and advocate for more rights, protection and security from the Philippine government and host governments. As a united community, you own a powerful voice; use it. The results may be slow, but as trickling water slowly carves a rock, your advocacy will make way to friendlier policies for OFWs. Change may not be visible now, but it will pave way for improved rights and policies for future generations. Advocate change now! Inspire the community! Inspire the country! Inspire the world!

GRATITUDE AND PRAYER

To all of you who are far from home and enduring loneliness in far flung places, take heed that you carry home with you in your hearts. You all have my gratitude and respect, and I pray that in due time, you’ll all be home in the arms of those people you love again. I think that OFWs so truly embody Robert Frost’s “The Road Not Taken”:

Two roads diverged in a wood, and [OFWs] —

[OFWs] took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

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