Friday, November 1, 2019

Missing The Blogging World

It hit me today. I've missed blogging.

I've been away for more than a year. Simply because I lack the inspiration to write and the words that used to flow so easily felt forced and insincere. Being an emotional writer, I felt that words were failing to reflect what I truly felt. Sometimes words are not enough to express all the feelings in the world. Or, perhaps my chemo brain is winning the better part of me. On numerous occasions I've struggled to remember and enunciate words and sometimes, I'd get tongue tied in the middle of a conversation and would feel frustrated for the inability to conjure certain words that evade my memory. The struggle is real!

Work has been inevitably stressful. The banking industry is an unforgiving beast; it's a beast after all. I have to admit that within two years of working here, I am struggling to keep up with the "go go" banker mentality. I am like an old car, sputtering and running on fumes. I don't think I need to elaborate on that. Makes me think how the heck did I end up here!

It's autumn and I love it. Yesterday was Halloween and today is All Saint's Day. Since I live in a dual world, I'll celebrate both. All Soul's Day would be a more personal reflection and remembering/praying for all my love ones that have passed on to the next life. I've already made my little offering for them. For Halloween, it's about dressing up Mama Daisy and handing out sweets to the neighborhood kids last night. This year, kids had to cut short their candy run because of thunderstorms and windy weather forecast. Well, more candy for me.

Daisy dressed as a Bumblebee.
It's a short update. Hopefully I can sustain this drive to start writing again.

Belated Happy Halloween to my American family/friends and a meaningful Undas to my Filipino family/ friends.


  1. Hey Kayni, so nice to get an update from you via blogging. Me too when I turned 51 last month (I can't believe it is November, already!) I realized I missed blogging. I sorted through the photos on my cellphone and saw I had several experiences this year that would merit many blog posts.
    I didn't realize it would take a lot of time composing a post, sorting through the pictures, editing, editing and editing more! Before long it is already late evening so I call it a day and just resume the next day going through the same process all over again. LOL But I am determined to persevere.
    Undas is a very traditional Filipino ritual. Streets here in Metro Manila are devoid of traffic jams because most are in the provinces. That is a great relief if you are well aware of the monstrous traffic jams we experience here on a daily basis.
    Okay this is long enough. I shall return to editing my draft posts yet again. :)

    1. Glad to hear from you too. I agree, it takes a long time for me to compose, edit and post photos as well. I have a lot of photos to share, but I think I will start with one day at a time. I still remember that there many of us who met through blogging and now there's only a few us left. We will persevere and we will push through.

  2. Hahaha, the bug bit us at the same time, it seems. Reading my old posts reminded me that I have bumpy road in the past, but I managed to get over the humps and bumps and still came out one whole.

    I too wish that I could sustain the energy to blog again.

    1. It's so funny. I do hope we get enough energy to keep going. I do enjoy writing and blogging.

  3. I'm so happy to see a post from you. It's been too long. But I understand that sometimes the words don't come. Some days it's a struggle but I try to post something at least once a month.

    1. I think that posting once a month is a great idea. Sometimes the inspiration is there to write but my schedule won't allow it. I am hoping to be more consistent this time around.

      It's good to hear from you.

  4. There are times that I get to do a roll call in my head of the bloggers I know, I actually remembered you Ms. Kayni! And it is so good to hear your thoughts again :)

    You are correct the banking industry is a beast and I told myself, going back to that industry will be the last option if ever. HAHA.

    Hopefully the cold, comfy season will give you more inspirations to tell your stories.