Monday, February 22, 2016

Finding My Happy Place

What do you do when you're nervous or scared of something? Because I'm nervous as hell at the moment.

I have big ticket items on my list for the next few months, and I'm not talking about concert tickets. I'm actually pertaining to (1) a root canal; (2) surgery this week; and, (3) a second possible surgery sooner or later this year. I feel overwhelmed.

I am scheduled to undergo Laparoscopic Cholecystectomy this Thursday. I know it's one of the most commonly performed surgical procedures, but I'm a worry wart and it doesn't make things easy.

My question is, "How many more medical procedures do I have to go through?" I'm frustrated and there are times I feel defeated in my quest for normalcy. Somehow, I've forgotten how it feels to be normal. What is normalcy anyway? For a BMT survivor, I guess this is my new normal - to keep fighting and surviving.

I've been unable to get a decent sleep the past few days, so I've been keeping myself occupied by "going out" (walking and shopping) and if I'm at home, I bake.

 I feel happiest when I'm baking. The humming of my mixer helps dull the pain of my worries.

My mind turns to happier memories as the oven warms my kitchen. I feel excitement as the aromas of cinnamon and vanilla fill my home. My sense of taste takes over as I savor every bite of anything I baked.

When I bake, I am in my happy place.

Linking with Wordless Wednesday.

15 comments:

  1. I have to google that laporoscopic thing to know, but yeah Kayni, calm down, it is normal these days. I'm glad you have a happy place to keep you. God bless!

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  2. Oh hugs Kayni! You'll conquer these three hurdles just like the one before that. Your happy place keeps Kepi well fed, win-win situation.

    You are in my thoughts and prayers.

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    1. Thank you, Photo Cache. I have to say, it's my nerves that's the hardest to control.

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  3. Hope everything goes well for you. You've been through a lot already. Baking is my happy place too.

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  4. That's a very nice happy place.
    I had a few years where I made far too many acquaintances with operating room personnel. I'll say a prayer for you. The anxiety was worse than the procedures, for me at least.
    Thanks for sharing at http://image-in-ing.blogspot.com/2016/02/every-10-minutes-someone-in-us-dies-of.html

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    1. Thank you. I have to agree. The anxiety is sometimes much worse than the procedure.

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  5. May God be with you on your upcoming procedure. I know a few people who had undergone laparoscopy and they are doing good now. Normal should I say.

    I wish I am a neighbor and when I smell the aroma of your baking, I can just come by and take a bite. Hahaha. Cheers to Happiness!

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    1. Thank you, yccos. Wish we were neighbors too. I'd love to sit and chat with you over some coffee and bread.

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  6. I know the stress has got to be very hard thinking about this and I wish you a very speedy recovery. It is good to take your mind of things and stay as busy as you can. I find ways of taking my mind into a happy place, easier said than done at times I know :) Take good care of yourself and I send you a big hug.

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  7. Your bread looks very delicious. I hope you will recover soon. Thanks for sharing.

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  8. Prayers on your upcoming surgeries, sis... laparoscopy is pretty major. I had three of those, but not for the gall bladder. It is normal to worry... you are normal, :-) Hello, sis Kayni. I haven't been in the blogging world for what feels like forever. So I am very glad to see (read) you again. :-) That cake you have there looks yummy! At the moment, my happy place is in a fanfiction site. Hehehe! Blessings!

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  9. Wishing you strength on these days...and do lots of baking if necessary :) I wish I could bake, I tried many times and keep failing. Have a good weekend and my thoughts are with you <3

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  10. Banana loaf is my fave! Actually, all baked goods with bananas in it. Yum! :)

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