Family is a bit of a downer these days. Don't get me wrong. I love my family very much, but some family members are just not loving me back. Anyway, it's some issue I just don't want to write in specifics, but I do want to put my frustration in the open. There are times I really wish I could change someone or something, but I'm learning that, that isn't the solution. Some people don't want to change for the better. It really breaks my heart that sometimes, your own blood could do hurtful things to you. And even if you put all your efforts to keep the family together, someone just enjoys breaking the family apart. It is exhausting and frustrating. I've been feeling angry about this. Although I want these problems resolved, circumstances just won't allow it or certain people won't allow it.
Is there really a perfect family? Mine is full of imperfections, but it's my home - my own. It has come to a point where I feel helpless. I've been trying to understand what is going on and where did things go wrong, but I can't seem to get to the bottom of this. I wish there is a guideline or book about solving family problems; Is there? Looking at the efforts I've put into this, the solution is further than ever - not a hint and not even a shadow.
I think I've had enough and that I've given my best. This time, I am thinking of walking away.
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Monday, March 30, 2009
How Langdon Thinks
In preparation for the movie, I am rereading Dan Brown's book, Angels & Demons. I found these passages quite intriguing and interesting:
Langdon's head was pounding louder now...tiny voices playing tug-of-war.
Faith does not protect you. Medicine and airbags...those are the things that protect you. God does not protect you. Intelligence protects you. Enlightenment. Put your faith in something with tangible results. How long has it been since someone walked on water? Modern miracles belong to science...computers, vaccines, space stations...even the divine miracle of reaction. Matter from nothing...in a lab. Who needs God? No! Science is God.
The killer's voice resonated in Langdon's mind. Midnight...mathematical progression of death...sacrifici vergini nell' altare di scienza.
I am so looking forward to the movie.
Langdon's head was pounding louder now...tiny voices playing tug-of-war.
Faith does not protect you. Medicine and airbags...those are the things that protect you. God does not protect you. Intelligence protects you. Enlightenment. Put your faith in something with tangible results. How long has it been since someone walked on water? Modern miracles belong to science...computers, vaccines, space stations...even the divine miracle of reaction. Matter from nothing...in a lab. Who needs God? No! Science is God.
The killer's voice resonated in Langdon's mind. Midnight...mathematical progression of death...sacrifici vergini nell' altare di scienza.
I am so looking forward to the movie.
Saturday, March 28, 2009
Of Women And Heartaches
March was about heartaches. I say "was" because I think it's about time to put it behind. In the past two weeks, three of my women friends simultaneously got dumped by the "supposedly" love of their lives. It was a drama marathon. I was occupied consoling all three of them through all technological means possible - text, chat, phone, skype, e-mail and e-cards. It was more than I could handle. I truly understand exactly what they're going through especially the inexplicable physical body pains, the emotional turmoil, the psychological confusion, the non-stop crying and self blame. I kept telling them that "they'll be alright" and that "they're going to get through this," but I do know that none of my encouraging words are getting through. Because right now, the shock hasn't worn off and all they feel is that intense pain and the fear of being alone. I know, I've been there.
To my friends and whoever out there going through the same thing, there is hope and that you will get through this. This too shall pass.
Sadness flies on the wings of the morning and out of the heart of darkness comes the light. ~Jean Giraudoux
To my friends and whoever out there going through the same thing, there is hope and that you will get through this. This too shall pass.
Sadness flies on the wings of the morning and out of the heart of darkness comes the light. ~Jean Giraudoux
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Not Another Cookie
I got sidetracked at work today and was reading this interesting interview with Steve Harvey. I was a bit skeptical about him speaking about dating and relationships, but reading through the transcript, Steve makes a great argument. Here are a few excerpts from the interview. I have emphasized my favorite quotes in red. So ladies, sit back and read:
1.) Introduction: If a man introduces you as a friend or says your name with no title at all, Steve says you have nothing. "We're very protective. We mark our territory. If a man loves you ... he's willing to profess it. He'll give you a title after a while. You're going to be his lady, his woman, his fiancée, his wife, his baby's mama, something," he says. "If he's introducing you after six months, 'This is ... Oprah,' you should be standing there going, 'This is going nowhere.'
2.) The Plan: Another thing women need to understand, according to Steve, is that every man has a plan. "Men don't come up to you to just talk. We come up to you with a plan," he says. "We're looking across the room at you, and we don't care about your hopes and dreams. We don't care about what your future holds. We saw something we wanted." When a man approaches a woman, Steve says, he already knows what [he] wants from her, but he doesn't know what it will cost. "How much time do you want from me? What your standards? What are your requirements? Because we'll rise to the occasion no matter how high you set the bar if we want to," he says. "The problem is, women have stopped setting the bar high."
3.) The Cookie: Though a woman might want many things from a man, Steve says men only need three things: support, loyalty and sex. Or as Steve calls it, "the cookie." "We've got to have your support. Whatever adventure we're out on, whatever pursuit in life, we need your support. Then we need your loyalty. That's your love. We've got to know that you belong to us," he says. "And we've got to have a cookie. Everybody likes cookies. That's the thing about a cookie. I like oatmeal raisin ... but if you've got vanilla cream, I'll eat that too."
4.) Gone Fishin': Steve says men are like fishermen — but women are actually the ones looking for a good catch. You won't be able to find one, though, until you up your standards. "You've got sports fishermen, and you've got guys out there fishing to eat. You've got guys that are fishing to keep the fish, and you've got guys that are fishing to catch them, unhook them and throw them back," Steve says. "You've got to determine along the way which one of the fish you're going to be."
Without ironclad standards, Steve says you'll always end up back in the dating pool. "You've got to quit lowering your standards," he says. "Set your requirements up front so when a guy hooks you, he has to know this is business." And don't let the man set the pace of the relationship — Steve says it's always the woman who has total control. "With all that power, why do you suddenly relinquish this power just because you want a guy to accept you? That's stupid," he says. "Say: 'Look, if you want to be with me, this is what you got to do. This is what it takes to get to me.'"
5.) When Should You Sleep With The Boyfriend: As an auto plant worker, Steve says he had to wait 90 days to receive benefits — and says the same probation period should apply to dating. "In 90 days they checked me out. They determined if I was easy to work with, if I got along well with others, if I showed up when I said I was going to show up, if I was worthy."Women, Steve says, hold the greatest benefit of all — the cookie — so there's no reason to give it away until you know your man deserves it. "Slow down, ladies," Steve says. "Look, you cannot run us off."
1.) Introduction: If a man introduces you as a friend or says your name with no title at all, Steve says you have nothing. "We're very protective. We mark our territory. If a man loves you ... he's willing to profess it. He'll give you a title after a while. You're going to be his lady, his woman, his fiancée, his wife, his baby's mama, something," he says. "If he's introducing you after six months, 'This is ... Oprah,' you should be standing there going, 'This is going nowhere.'
2.) The Plan: Another thing women need to understand, according to Steve, is that every man has a plan. "Men don't come up to you to just talk. We come up to you with a plan," he says. "We're looking across the room at you, and we don't care about your hopes and dreams. We don't care about what your future holds. We saw something we wanted." When a man approaches a woman, Steve says, he already knows what [he] wants from her, but he doesn't know what it will cost. "How much time do you want from me? What your standards? What are your requirements? Because we'll rise to the occasion no matter how high you set the bar if we want to," he says. "The problem is, women have stopped setting the bar high."
3.) The Cookie: Though a woman might want many things from a man, Steve says men only need three things: support, loyalty and sex. Or as Steve calls it, "the cookie." "We've got to have your support. Whatever adventure we're out on, whatever pursuit in life, we need your support. Then we need your loyalty. That's your love. We've got to know that you belong to us," he says. "And we've got to have a cookie. Everybody likes cookies. That's the thing about a cookie. I like oatmeal raisin ... but if you've got vanilla cream, I'll eat that too."
4.) Gone Fishin': Steve says men are like fishermen — but women are actually the ones looking for a good catch. You won't be able to find one, though, until you up your standards. "You've got sports fishermen, and you've got guys out there fishing to eat. You've got guys that are fishing to keep the fish, and you've got guys that are fishing to catch them, unhook them and throw them back," Steve says. "You've got to determine along the way which one of the fish you're going to be."
Without ironclad standards, Steve says you'll always end up back in the dating pool. "You've got to quit lowering your standards," he says. "Set your requirements up front so when a guy hooks you, he has to know this is business." And don't let the man set the pace of the relationship — Steve says it's always the woman who has total control. "With all that power, why do you suddenly relinquish this power just because you want a guy to accept you? That's stupid," he says. "Say: 'Look, if you want to be with me, this is what you got to do. This is what it takes to get to me.'"
5.) When Should You Sleep With The Boyfriend: As an auto plant worker, Steve says he had to wait 90 days to receive benefits — and says the same probation period should apply to dating. "In 90 days they checked me out. They determined if I was easy to work with, if I got along well with others, if I showed up when I said I was going to show up, if I was worthy."Women, Steve says, hold the greatest benefit of all — the cookie — so there's no reason to give it away until you know your man deserves it. "Slow down, ladies," Steve says. "Look, you cannot run us off."
**********
Ladies and Gents, what do you think? Does Steve make sense?
Monday, March 23, 2009
Simulated Explosion In D.C.
I have to say that living in DC can be a blast especially when a movie or TV series is filming in the area. There's an existing e-mail/text system that alerts citizens of which roads or bridges are closed or blocked on certain days and hours. Just like today, we got an e-mail alert from The Metropolitan Washington Council of Governments Office of Public Affairs stating that:
"Simulated Explosion: The Metropolitan Washington Council of Governments Office of Public Affairs advised that there will be a simulated explosion on Wednesday, March 25th, between 0930 and 1200 hours near the Key Bridge in DC that will produce a 20- to 30-foot fireball that should last approximately 2 minutes."
According to Reuters.com, this simulated explosion is going to be used for a new CBS action series called "Washington Field." I have not heard of this new pilot, but I am quite excited to see this fireball.
"Simulated Explosion: The Metropolitan Washington Council of Governments Office of Public Affairs advised that there will be a simulated explosion on Wednesday, March 25th, between 0930 and 1200 hours near the Key Bridge in DC that will produce a 20- to 30-foot fireball that should last approximately 2 minutes."
According to Reuters.com, this simulated explosion is going to be used for a new CBS action series called "Washington Field." I have not heard of this new pilot, but I am quite excited to see this fireball.
Thursday, March 19, 2009
Just Reading
In Afghanistan a woman's longing for love is taboo. It is forbidden by the tribes' notion of honor and by the mullahs. Young people have no right to meet, to love, or to choose. Love has little to do with romance; on the contrary, love can be interpreted as committing a serious crime, punishable by death. The undisciplined are cruelly killed. Should only one guilty party be executed, it is invariably the woman. Seierstad, Asne, The Bookseller of Kabul (2002).
Have a great weekend everyone!
Have a great weekend everyone!
Sunday, March 15, 2009
A Peek Into My Home
I was just making my weekend list a couple of days ago, and I can't believe that the weekend's almost over. I was able to accomplish a couple of things on my list, so I feel good. Unfortunately, my appointment to visit the prospect apartment didn't push through as they didn't call to confirm my appointment in time. They said they will call me to set up another date. I guess this is one hint of how management is like in that apartment complex.
Anyway, I picked up a few seed packets for my planned balcony garden, so when the temperature finally settles down, I'll be able to start with my green project. Most of my time was spent purging, organizing, and arranging my apartment. Here are two photos:
This is my small dining room. There were newspapers scattered all over the floor, so I finally bundled them for recycling. I like to keep my dining table simple and clean, and I just love how I can look out through the glass walls while having breakfast or lunch. It's the perfect place to drink tea especially when it is snowing or pouring rain outside.
Here's the busiest nook in my place, the entertainment/living room. I've just built that small bookcase, and it makes the corner a lot "homier." I like to keep my life simple, and I prefer less furniture. If you live in an apartment, it's easier to move with less baggage. Spaces and being able to breathe is most important for me.
Do you believe that a person's home is a reflection of his/her personality. What do you see?
Anyway, I picked up a few seed packets for my planned balcony garden, so when the temperature finally settles down, I'll be able to start with my green project. Most of my time was spent purging, organizing, and arranging my apartment. Here are two photos:
This is my small dining room. There were newspapers scattered all over the floor, so I finally bundled them for recycling. I like to keep my dining table simple and clean, and I just love how I can look out through the glass walls while having breakfast or lunch. It's the perfect place to drink tea especially when it is snowing or pouring rain outside.
Here's the busiest nook in my place, the entertainment/living room. I've just built that small bookcase, and it makes the corner a lot "homier." I like to keep my life simple, and I prefer less furniture. If you live in an apartment, it's easier to move with less baggage. Spaces and being able to breathe is most important for me.Do you believe that a person's home is a reflection of his/her personality. What do you see?
Thursday, March 12, 2009
Weekend To Do List
I am ready for the weekend. This week felt longer than it should, and that I am simply uninspired and bored. I have a few things that I really need to do, so I need to get my act together.
- I am currently on an apartment hunt. My lease won't expire until December, but I just want an early look at what other apartments are like. This task won't be easy during the fall and winter months, so it's best to do it now.
- I need to pick up some seeds for my balcony garden which means potted plants. I would like to keep my balcony green this spring and summer. I am thinking of planting a mixture of herbs, vegetables, and flowers.
- I have to pick up another bookcase for my other books.
- I need to organize my home office. I've simply been throwing stuff around and now I can't find some of my tax documents.
- I am in need of comfort food, so I need to look at my recipe collection. Hmmm...what to cook, what to cook? I'm still thinking.
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
My 2009 Wishes
I was tagged by Mumsified with a meme that requires 4 things:
~List down what I want for my birthday
~The list should be 10 numbers
~Post the image of this award in your posting
~Give it to 10 friends of yours.
I celebrated my birthday at the beginning of this year, but that doesn't stop me from making more birthday wishes. Probably, it's best to just call this my 2009 wishes. Please don't expect world peace or to end world hunger here.
- My parents to have a long, healthy and happy life. They're retiring soon.
- My platelets to become normal again, 140 would be awesome.
- Travel to nearby states or visit at least one country this year. Road trips this spring and summer would be great.
- Celebrate Christmas and New Year with both my sister and brother.
- A new camera - my three-year old camera got chipped during my recent trip to Hawaii. Now it's hard to click the settings.
- A new computer - whether it's a PC or a Mac (still deciding). I have a gut feeling my four-year old computer will go soon. I hope not because I love my MacBook.
- A pay increase would be nice.
- Keep my blogging momentum going.
- Improve my savings. Shame on me for neglecting this.
- Drive less and more walking or biking.
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
I'm IN!
I got accepted to Georgetown University! I am so elated, and I can't even describe what I'm feeling right now. I filed my grad school application before I flew to Hawaii for Christmas. I wasn't so sure I was going to be accepted as I felt that my essay was lousy. I received their letter yesterday, and since it was thin, I thought it was a rejection letter. In the tradition of applying for college, a thick (a welcome packet) or thin letter sort of tells you if you got accepted to a university of your choice or not. When I got the letter, I actually threw it on the dining table and proceeded to cook dinner. It took me a few hours of self convincing to open the letter and get the "rejection feeling" over with. So I did, to my surprise it read, "I am pleased to inform you that you have been accepted in the Georgetown University Liberal Studies Program..." I was silent for a moment, but I guess it took a few minutes to sink in before a huge smile formed on my face. It's that feeling of assurance that something good is happening. I want to relish this good feeling before the serious studying begins.
Sunday, March 8, 2009
Where Does Sleep Go?
It's passed 12 AM, but I am nowhere near being sleepy. This happened last night too - not to mention the other nights, as I tossed and turned until 3 AM. Funny thing is, even if I slept that late, I'd still be out and about at 7 AM. In my younger years, I do remember sleeping like a log and waking up as late as 10 AM. I sorely miss those days. Ugh, I really sound old. I keep wondering what the heck happened. Why sleep is evading me these days? Even at nights I do get some sleep, I would wake up even to the softest click or chirp. It was two years ago when I realized that I have unwillingly become a light sleeper who suffers from insomnia from time to time.
Is this all part of growing old? Have I succumbed to the damaging effects of stress and anxiety? If one cannot sleep, where does sleep go?
Is this all part of growing old? Have I succumbed to the damaging effects of stress and anxiety? If one cannot sleep, where does sleep go?
Thursday, March 5, 2009
Part II: Winter Shots
Here's a few more winter shots I took this Monday. My favorite is the neighbor's boy enjoying the snow. I guess he was happy because school was canceled. Here he is all bundled up.
Winter wonderland? Really, it doesn't feel like a wonderland when you have to walk through snow in order to get to work. Also, driving in this type of weather is really dangerous. I've witnessed a lot of cars just sliding off the roads causing major accidents.
This is my un-shoveled path to work.
Icy cushions anyone?
Winter country setting...that's the famous cabin where parties are held every summer.
Farewell winter. Welcome spring!
I really hope spring will arrive S-O-O-N.
The Office Scene
I'm too eager to get this week behind me for several reasons. First, the snowstorm which really put a damper on my spirits; second, death in the family which made me emotional and angry (anger for reasons I can't disclosed); and, third, annoying office politics and gossip. There's this silent war between two or three coworkers, and they all end up whining in my office which makes me sort of the shock absorber for all their queries and qualms. The two, as the third doesn't complain much, are so insensitive that even if they see me busy and purposely ignoring them, they'd still sit in and keep up with the dissing and hissing each other talk. Yesterday, I was on the brink of losing it, when I apologetically told the hisser, "I'm sorry I have to do this, but you have to leave because I have a deadline to meet." He was silent at first, but then got up and left.
This morning, the hisser came back with more news. Sigh, some people just don't listen. I think my next step would be to remove the guest chairs in my office. How would you handle this?
This morning, the hisser came back with more news. Sigh, some people just don't listen. I think my next step would be to remove the guest chairs in my office. How would you handle this?
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
Aloha 'Oe
I've been thinking really hard how to post this, as I've been finding myself becoming emotional. My Auntie Puring passed away on February 28. I still cannot believe it or that I refuse to think she's gone. She's been such a huge part of my life, and that she's also my godmother. I don't want to make this post sound like an obituary, but I do want to remember all the good things about her.
Today, she is being escorted to Bontoc for her burial. She is in my thoughts and prayers. I think my emotions are best described with this sweet Hawaiian song written by Queen Liliʻuokalani.
Today, she is being escorted to Bontoc for her burial. She is in my thoughts and prayers. I think my emotions are best described with this sweet Hawaiian song written by Queen Liliʻuokalani.
To Auntie Puring,
Aloha 'oe, aloha 'oe, (Farewell to thee, farewell to thee,)
E ke onaona noho i ka lipo, (Thou charming one who dwells in the shaded bowers)
One fond embrace A ho'i a'e au, ('Ere I depart)
Until we meet again.
Aloha 'oe, aloha 'oe, (Farewell to thee, farewell to thee,)
E ke onaona noho i ka lipo, (Thou charming one who dwells in the shaded bowers)
One fond embrace
Until we meet again.
Monday, March 2, 2009
Cold Start To Snowy March
March began really cold and snowy, and here was I hoping for spring and warmer weather. Here's a few of the scenes I passed through on my way to work today. My hope for early spring was doused with snow.
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